Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
