yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
