That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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