this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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