I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
