at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
