Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How external is "for external use only"?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
