I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
