Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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