I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
