I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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