Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
