is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
