Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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