how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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