Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
