so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
