dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Come see our sink grown plant.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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