I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
