I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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