i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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