Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
