All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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