I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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