I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
