Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
