I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
