my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
