I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
