I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
