my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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