He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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