I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
