you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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