Christians are straight up FREAKS
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
