You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
