When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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