Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
