Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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