I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
