i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
