I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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