I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
