Its about making memories worth repressing
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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