just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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