I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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