dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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