so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So much rum. So many feels.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
