i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
