Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
