Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
