So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Randomize
