We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
