The maid of honor just puked.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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