id be glad to
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
