He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
