You really coming over, don't trick.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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